One of the biggest frustrations with former foster children who have managed to make a life for themselves is the inability to give advice in an impactful manner. Specifically, to give open, honest, direct and sometimes harsh advice to the people who need it – the social workers, the prospective foster parents. I think I am starting to understand why.
First, the need for foster parents in this broken system is so extreme that most social workers who are in charge of foster parent training are probably worried about scaring off prospective foster parents. Bringing in a former foster child for a group conversation can backfire. Things come up and out of our mouths that can scare the shit of people.
Second, you have to think of DFCS as a business. DFCS is the supplier of children, the foster parents are the customer. The foster child is not the product, but rather the patient. We are the never ending patient. We are “Patient Forever.”