Category Archives: CPS & DFACS

Speaks for itself.

What about these kids? Didn’t they NEED foster care?

One thing I’ve heard before – “What about the kids who NEED foster care?”

Well, what about them?  Please, show me some kids who NEED foster care.  I’ve never seen a kid who NEEDS foster care. I’ve seen kids who need family, a home, food, clothing. But I’ve never met anyone who NEEDS foster care.

The question, like so many illogical statements about foster care are simply begging the question – using a premise to support the question. The premise is that foster care is the solution to maltreatment, neglect and abuse. Ergo, kids in those situations NEED foster care because foster care is the solution.

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The price of admission

This summer, my wife and I completed the foster parent training course in our county.  I’m not sure we will foster at this time, but it’s on our radar.  Regardless, I went through a little dip in my psyche after six Saturdays of being triggered 4 hours straight and not screaming.

Depressing would hardly define my feeling as I watched the faces of every prospective foster parent in that class admit they have never heard of the ACES study on the last day of the course – even after the facilitator specifically instructed the class to view a video about the ACES study. “How many have heard of the ACES study?” Chirp. Chirp. Un-fucking-believable. {Here’s a nice Ted Talk so you have a clue about why the ACES study is so profound and why I probably won’t see my 75th birthday.}

Continue reading The price of admission

Patient “Forever”

One of the biggest frustrations with former foster children who have managed to make a life for themselves is the inability to give advice in an impactful manner.  Specifically, to give open, honest, direct and sometimes harsh advice to the people who need it – the social workers, the prospective foster parents.  I think I am starting to understand why.

First, the need for foster parents in this broken system is so extreme that most social workers who are in charge of foster parent training are probably worried about scaring off prospective foster parents. Bringing in a former foster child for a group conversation can backfire. Things come up and out of our mouths that can scare the shit of people.

Second, you have to think of DFCS as a business.  DFCS is the supplier of children, the foster parents are the customer. The foster child is not the product, but rather the patient.  We are the never ending patient.  We are “Patient Forever.”

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Build The Wall Foster The Kids

So apparently, we want to build a wall to keep people out, but take the kids from those who do make it in and place those kids in foster care. That will certainly help the situation won’t it? Build the wall – foster the kids!

KCRC-child-id

Baby’s first photo ID! So cute!

It’s hard to overstate just how intentional these policies are at overloading the institutions that we rely on for basic care and peace. Attacks on the courts, attacks on immigrants, people or color, political opponents.  It’s just one long attack on the system designed to keep people on their heels.

Continue reading Build The Wall Foster The Kids